by Richard A. Shulman, PhD.
Divorce is a very stressful event in your life and only you have the power to decide its impact on your future.
1) Change your point of view.
The divorce does not have power over your thoughts, perceptions, and choices; you do. Instead of staying sad or angry, look at this phase as a new beginning.
2) Look at the good things about your decision.
Since the divorce proceedings have already begun, regardless of who initiated it, remind yourself of the reasons that this is a good choice.
3) Open up lines of communication with your ex-spouse.
Put your negative feelings aside, ESPECIALLY when children are involved. Regardless of how you feel about the other person, amicable divorces are less stressful and promote better results.
4) Take care of yourself.
Divorce is very stressful and creates a lot of wear and tear on your body. Remember to exercise, eat right, and get plenty of sleep.
5) Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Develop a social support system. Create an arena of people that you can turn to during your dark periods.
6) Don’t speak negatively about your ex-spouse to your children.
If you have children together your ex-spouse will most likely be a part of important decisions, family events, and celebrations. This will also help prevent you from putting your children in the middle and making them your sounding board.
7) Maximize your time.
Look for opportunities to make a life for yourself. Create new hobbies, new interests, and plan getaways. In addition, if you are busy you will spend less time thinking about the divorce.
8) Utilize the help of trained professionals.
Many services are available to you during this time of need including mediators, attorneys, therapists, and financial planners. By enlisting the help of trained professionals you will maximize your resources effectively.
9) Don’t get discouraged.
Divorce is a very stressful period in your life. With it come many ups and downs. Understand that the divorce process will only last a limited time and as with everything else, will eventually come to an end.
Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. Ensure that you get everything that you are entitled to including access to your children, spousal support, child support, property, and a say in all matters concerning your children. This ensures that when you look back on your decision, you can honestly say to yourself that you got your fair share and what you deserved.